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"Create the opportunity today and find someone to uplift. Embrace those in your life today and love them. You are never guaranteed another day to do so."
- Lincoln Patz


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Hello everyone. Another month has almost passed, and I couldn't let it go by without posting at least one new wallpaper in May. There is another bigger reason why I wanted to post this tonight, but I'll get to that in a bit.

This wallpaper is my fifth for this year (137th overall), and is entitled "Embrace". This is also a bitter-sweet posting for me as the subject matter is based on my own family's tragedy.

You see, early this past month, we lost my dear baby brother. His name was Spencer. We didn't share a lot of mutual interests in life, as our personalities were different enough, but I still loved him very dearly. We lived just 2 blocks away from each other. We also worked at the same company. Our family is real close. My whole life, just about every holiday was spent all together. I also got married last month, which ended up being even more special as it would be the final time that our entire family was together. I carelessly thought that we had so much more time to still spend and get to do things together after the wedding. It was not to be though.

As to what exactly happened a few weeks ago on the night of his passing, is still a bit of a mystery. In time, we should know more. However, the shock that hit me from hearing the news at the hospital from my father that night he died still sends a shock of disbelief though me. That was probably the worst news I've ever received in my whole life so far. The death of an immediate family member wasn't something I had hoped to experience so soon in my life.

I've been putting off posting this wallpaper as well all month. I've been kind of side-stepping my feelings on this whole matter. But I knew I had to get this up here before my own thoughts and emotions become lost over time. However, my mind still needed time to adjust. I felt that tonight I could face up to this a bit and post this finally.

I am still grieving over losing my brother. I've read somewhere that the whole next year is expected to be hard. I'm prepared for that and will just take one day at a time. But for some strange reason, I still have feelings like he is still here on Earth - somewhere - hiding from all of us, and my little bro will pop out from somewhere and "get us". This just doesn't seem real yet. Well, it's slowly starting to sink in - little by little. For 29 years I've had a brother. Now, he's gone.

I used "Embrace" as the title for this "wall" as that is what I want to do with Spencer again. I long to give my baby brother a big bear hug. He's never been gone this long. I do have the assurance however, that one day I will see him again in Heaven one day. Still, his absence seems only hypothetical still.

Spencer had made it clear to our family that he knew the Lord, Jesus Christ, as his personal Lord and Savoir. With that knowledge, I don't grieve for him. I don't have too. He is in Glory with the rest of my family members who have already passed on. I guess - selfishly in a way - I grieve for myself, and for the rest of my family members here still on Earth who are now deprived of his presence.

My brother was a warm-hearted, compassionate individual. He was a wonderful son, brother, uncle, nephew, grandson, and most of all, a great friend to many. Although he lived a short life, he lived a grand full life. He finished his journey here and finished it well. By the way, this is an actual picture of Spencer. I took it a few years back. Now today, this image is just a taste of how real this is for him now. His back is to us. For me this symbolizes his going ahead of us to Heaven, while we are still left behind without him. He is up in Heaven now embracing others and having a great time.

Everyone has the opportunity to make their lives count and make an impact for a greater cause. Whoever you are, whatever you do, wherever you live - embrace the life you have today by helping and loving others in your life today.

I take great pride knowing that my brother Spencer did just that. And I have a great hope that one day, I will see him and embrace him again! Find a family member, or a dear friend, and tell them that you love them. You are never guaranteed another day to do so.
- Original blog entry from 05.30.2013

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